'Big Brother 13' Recap: Jordan Goes Crazy

Jordan Lloyd from Big Brother 11 and now Big Brother 13 is America's Sweetheart. She's a nice little girl who may not be the sharpest tool in the shed (in fact, her intelligence is more comparable to the fertilizer in the shed), but she's always nice and pleasant. 

Until now. Following Jeff's eviction on Thursday, Jordan turns mean, angry and annoying, revealing her true colors. I may sound like I hate her, but that's only because I kind of do, or at least I hate that she gets to compete on the show. 

She has admitted on the live feeds many times that she doesn't care about the game and the only reason she agreed to come back is because Jeff wanted to do it. Like Daniele, I respect and love the game of Big Brother, so hearing that someone doesn't yet still gets to skate by for two whole seasons makes me a little mad. 

What makes this episode of Big Brother 13 harder to watch is the recent news that Shelly Moore's family and work are getting actual threats and harassing phone calls because she turned on Jeff. It's a game, people! And Shelly proved that she could separate game moves from personal feelings, something Jordan is incapable of. 

I also have to lay some of the blame on CBS, because if you only watch the episodes and don't follow the live feeds, like many viewers do, then you probably think Jeff and Jordan are nice, sweet, innocent people. But those of us who follow along at home know better and realize that the editors are purposefully leaving out a lot of the material that paints Jeff in a less-than-flattering light. He frequently curses a mile a minute, bashing the other HGs as effing idiots while bullying them into doing everything he tells them to do. He walked around the house for most of the season like a dictator. The Jeff you see on TV is a very different person from the Jeff the live feeders know. 

Anyway, onto the episode. Jeff vs. Shelly In a rare move, we get to see footage from before Thursday's live eviction, since some major drama went down two hours beforehand. Jeff gets angry with Shelly for telling Rachel that he threw the corn hole veto which resulted in Brendon going home. The fact that it's true is irrelevant to Jeff. Shelly, however, suspects Adam is the one who sold her out and that causes a massive comedy of errors. 

Shelly outs her deal to save Daniele to Jeff, incorrectly thinking Adam already told Jeff about it. The result is total chaos and anarchy as Shelly is exposed and spins her wheels as hard as she can to cover her butt. But it's all for nothing and Jeff gets loud and angry, explaining that he's fighting for Shelly and he's angry that she's playing all sides. 

I genuinely think Shelly only recently came the realization that she couldn't win in an alliance with Jeff and Jordan, so that's why this is happening now, not because Shelly was masterminding some huge betrayal of Jeff from the start. And while I believe Jeff when he says he wants Adam, Shelly and Jordan with him in the final four, it's only because he knows he'd beat all of them. 

He wanted to recreate the Brigade, but the problem is that Shelly woke up and realized she was Enzo, and that being Enzo is a bad thing. What was good for Jeff's alliance wasn't necessarily good for all the individuals in it. 

Jordan vs. Shelly After Jeff gets evicted home, Jordan has an emotional breakdown and cries about what a fool she was for trusting Shelly, because Jordan can't understand the fact that it was a game move and not a personal decision. Shelly tries to defend herself when Jordan calls Shelly a bad person, and the result is one hell of a fight. Jordan starts cursing and getting red in the face while Rachel literally drags her away from Shelly. I'm glad all the viewers get to see this side of Jordan, because it shows how little she understands about the game. 

Jordan vs. Porsche In the HoH competition, the HGs must play the snake game from the backyard Wednesday night. First the five HGs get one try to rank themselves. Then the bottom two play each other, and the winner moves on to the next round. The rankings go, from bottom to top, Adam, Porsche, Rachel, Shelly and Jordan, meaning all Jordan has to do is play one time and win. First Porsche beats Adam, then she beats Rachel, then she beats Shelly. 

wow, where did this competitive Porsche come from? In the final round, Porsche wins yet again and becomes the new HoH. And she did it by beating everyone. Newbies vs. Production In the first sign that production hates the newbies, we don't even get to see Porsche get her HoH room and read her letter, like we do for every single other person, because the show spent half the episode on Jeff's eviction. One minute Porsche wins, and the next she's opening Pandora's Box. She's offered $10,000, split in half, and then she has to read a letter in front of everyone. 

The duo twist is back, and the HGs get to pick their own partners. Wow, I assumed Porsche chose the teams and messed up, but this is even worse. Rachel and Jordan choose each other, meaning if either wins the veto, they're both safe. Ugh. There's no doubt in my mind that the ONLY reason for this twist is so Rachel and Jordan could both stay this week, proving that production is definitely messing with the outcome. Yes, Porsche screwed up by opening Pandora's Box, but the twist itself is total B.S. Allison Grodner and the rest of Big Brother production should be ashamed of themselves for how blatantly they're manipulating the game. 

I'm fine with Pandora's Box doing something silly like making it rain money or bringing Rachel back for 24 hours, and I might even be fine with it giving someone a special power, but this Pandora's Box affects the entire game for everyone, and that's crap. I'm sick and tired of Big Brother adding in all these stupid twists and manipulating the events to suit their own agenda. Let the HGs play their own game and stop helping the veterans!